The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.GENESIS 2:18
You know, sometimes marriage is hard because we’ve got issues that need to be worked on. But instead of acknowledging the emotional pain, or the fear of intimacy, or the past offenses, we deflect and avoid, consoling ourselves, Well, at least it’s making me holy.
This is not God’s plan for marriage.
Instead of hitting conflict or hardships and deflecting to holy, we need to start asking the tough questions, like Why are we having this conflict? or “Is there deeper emotional pain that’s making this so hard?
Can we stop using the idea of holiness as an excuse to avoid the hard questions?
And more to the theological core, I think we believe marriage can’t be pleasurable and enjoyable, because then it wouldn’t be as spiritual. This is an ancient discussion. Pause and analyze for a second if any of these fallacies have crept into your thoughts on marriage:
Marriage can’t feel good.
Marriage can’t be good unless it’s purely spiritual.
Spiritual intimacy is the most important part of marriage.
Physical and emotional intimacy in marriage is inherently “less than” spiritual intimacy.
Again, we don’t really talk like this, but it is often our meta-message.
Marriages are not meant to be endured.
Marriage is for intimacy.
The sharing of souls and dreams and flesh.
The first taste of summer.
Marriage, the joining together of two unique persons, predates sin and exists beyond it. Marriage satisfied Adam. It excites Jesus